1 beach-side café, extremely inviting on the outside, has bizarre policies on the inside
1 Black Fig, Blue Cheese, Serrano Ham wood-fired pizza
2 pints of beer
1 partner in crime AKA the Husband
Preparation: Order a divine pizza all for yourself, with the intent of eating a little of it right away, and saving the rest, for when you are sprawled out on your couch, watching junk TV. After stuffing yourself adequately, request waitress to pack up the leftovers so you could merrily be on your way. Aah, sweet sweet heaven :)
Turn up the flame: Waitress to you: So sorry, my love, we don’t do leftovers. It’s restaurant policy to avoid spoilage and wastage of food. You will just have to leave the food here.
Boil: Whaaaa??? Its restaurant policy to not let the guest carry the leftovers with them so that they can make another meal out of it, but it’s OKAY to let it go to the wasteland of trashcans and dustbins!! And I thought Australia was a land of recycling, and organic growth, and fair-trade..and waste-not.. and.. and…HMPF! I JUST WANT TO PIG OUT ON MY PIZZA grumpy face
Simmer: Message the husband whining why you couldn’t possibly eat another bite, but you don’t want to leave the pizza. First-world hogging issues, I tell you!
Add your spices: Husband is quite taken aback by the rule too, but as always, has a sneaky idea up his sleeve. Serve them a fitting reply, he says. A side dish of finger. No no, I don’t do such things. YOU don’t have to, let the dish work its magic, he says. Hmmm.. I look at the pizza, bathed in all the sun’s glory, have a sip of my beer, think of his words, have another sip, then I look at the cutlery, and aaahh, cha-chinggg:
Sauté: Using knife and fork slyly, while putting in appearance of cutting a bite for yourself, work the pizza until you get this:
Ehhh… Buzzzz No, that boat ain’t sailing anywhere..
Flambé: Urged on by husband’s enthusiastic whats-apps of wisdom, Imagine it like matchsticks, or like the network signal on your phone, I battle on, and Voila, its’ done. Drum-roll please,
Presentation: yeah, I didn’t stick around for that!