Dear Darling Ma
Happy 59th Birthday.
Always thought I was your favourite, I won’t lie. I had to be, didn’t I. Your first born, a daughter, who you could doll up, take on endless shopping trips, partake your beauty wisdoms to, and watch endless romcoms with.
But it’s always been Anuj, hasn’t it na ma. All these years I thought it was me but I was so wrong ma. This year proved it. He’s up there with you now.
Your darling boy, your youngest, the child who was also most like you. The same temper, stubbornness and generosity of spirit, calling a spade a spade and not beating around the bush.
It had to be him na ma, and that’s why this year your party of two is celebrating together, in the heavens above, isn’t it.
Am so curious.
Have you baked your signature coffee cake – the strong, dark, syrupy and moist richness of it I remember; and him and you are lighting up 59 candles to celebrate your light?
Has he been regaling you all day with his stories, getting your undivided attention, and finally getting a chance to show you what an officer and gentleman he turned out to be? A hero too. But still a joker at heart. Your little joker.
Are you both watching us here on earth, making countless mistakes in your absence, looking up at the skies above, and shedding endless tears? because this year, after many years it hurts again. After having made my peace with not having you around, it’s time to relearn all these lessons again. But I tell myself, that after so many years, you are finally getting to be a mum again and this is your time with your sonny boy now. And that’s all the celebration you want.
And if there is no heaven above and it’s all a myth to give us hope – regardless, I fervently pray that you have found your peace. And your darling son has made his way to you in some form or the other. And you both are back to your sparring, loving ways, closer together.
And for this mortal, your second favourite child but your favourite daughter (have to take one win today) who’s pining away for you and him both, there’s some cake that I will cut with your darling grandchild Meera. And the hope that one day, whenever that is, we will all be together again.
I love you dear Ruba. Forever and a day.